Pain during sex: how to talk to your partner about your vaginal health
To be dissatisfied with your sex life can be hard. Even if you and your partner are close the sex talk can feel intimidating and sometimes uneasy to have. Experiencing vaginal dryness can feel difficult to bring and have a conversation about with your partner.
However, sex is supposed to be enjoyable for both of you so if it doesn’t feel good it is important to talk about it so you can find something that feels good for both of you. Communicating can be more powerful than you might think.
Vaginal dryness can also cause pain during sex
Sex is meant to be enjoyable and feel good. If it doesn’t it can be for several reasons but one common reason is because of vaginal dryness. One reason for that could be that you are not sexually aroused which can happen if there isn’t enough foreplay.
If this is something you recognize in your sex life it could be a good idea to speak to your partner about this. It may feel strange, but it will hopefully contribute to better sex life and communication in your relationship overall. We have prepared some tips to make the conversation easier.
Read more about the Main causes of painful intercourse
How to talk to your partner about sex
Communication is very important and can make a huge difference in your sex life. It can be tempting to think that, if we have a partner, they should be able to read our mind and know what we like. Unfortunately, that’s usually not the case so you will have to speak up and talk about it.
If this feels too difficult you can try to show them instead. Just make sure to communicate in some way what you want, to make it easier for them to give it to you.
If you want to sit down and talk to your partner it can be a good idea to prepare what you want to say first. Try to focus on yourself and what feels good for your instead of what you think your partner is doing wrong. Let them know what you want, like and need to feel aroused and try it out together.
Make sure to let them know when something feels good and express that and when they do something you do not enjoy and express that as well and work your way forward together.
If you’re not sure what you like you could try experimenting on your own to find what feels good. If you know what turns you on and what feels good on your own it’s easier to share with your sexual partner. Then you can be clear with how you like it and have a better experience together.
Some tips about the conversation:
- Have the talk in a neutral place, not the bedroom
- Pick your time, don’t talk about it right away afterwards
- Express how you feel and how it affects you
- Experiment together to find what feels good
Be kind to yourself
Make sure to be kind to your body and only do things that you enjoy and feel comfortable with. If you’re not used to expressing your needs it can feel stressful and hard but go easy on yourself. There is not a manual for this and only you know how it feels in your body.
To practice communication with your sexual partner can take time but you will get better at it the more you practice. If the first conversation doesn’t go exactly as planned, give yourself credit for trying and maybe try a different approach next time.