Buffet Sex with Marika Smith: 5 Best Tips to Nurture and Awaken Desire - Part 3/3
In the earlier parts of our interview with Marika Smith, we explored how desire and intimacy are affected during different phases of life. Marika, author of the book Buffet Sex – The New Way to Have Sex That Changes EVERYTHING, has shared what this concept means and how it can reshape our view of sexuality. Buffet sex promotes an individual and adaptable approach to sexual pleasure, where each person explores and chooses from a "smorgasbord" of possibilities for desire. In this part, Marika provides practical and tangible advice not only to awaken desire but also to nurture it through life's shifting stages.
HAVEN’T READ PARTS 1 AND 2? START HERE!
For a complete picture of Marika Smith’s thoughts on desire, self-love, and intimacy, don’t miss the earlier parts of the interview:
👉 Read Part 1 here
👉 Read Part 2 here
1. SEE DESIRE AS SOMETHING GREATER THAN SEX – AS PART OF YOUR IDENTITY
“Desire isn’t just about sexual activity; it’s about all forms of pleasure and personal growth. It’s a way to understand who you are and your place in the world. Desire creates space for your identity. If you view your longing for desire as a longing to live, it reduces the pressure to perform. It becomes less about the question, ‘Do I have an amazing sex life or not?’ and more about, ‘Am I a person who enjoys life or not?’”
2. MAKE TIME AND SPACE FOR DESIRE – AND GET TO KNOW YOUR BODY
“Prioritize your desire and find out how your body and sexuality work. I’m not just talking about exploring your body with sex toys but truly understanding how it functions. Did you know, for example, that detailed knowledge about the clitoris didn’t become widely known until 2005? There’s constantly new research about women’s sexuality, and there’s a lot to catch up on. Read up, listen to podcasts, and ask your doctor questions, especially if medications affect your desire or your mucous membranes. Talking about it and letting it take up space in your life is a way of showing yourself that this matters.”
3. TALK MORE ABOUT DESIRE – WITH FRIENDS, YOUR PARTNER, AND YOURSELF
“We need to talk more about desire! Not just at home but also in everyday life. These don’t have to be detailed conversations about sex; they can be about pleasure in general. Ask, for example, ‘How does it feel when the sun warms your skin?’ or ‘What makes you feel pleasure?’ By opening up to such conversations, you show yourself and others that this is something worth acknowledging.”
4. ENJOY THE LITTLE THINGS – AND LISTEN TO WHAT YOUR BODY WANTS
“Ask yourself: What does my body want right now? How does it feel when I get what I long for? We can’t always have everything we want, but when we do – allow yourself to truly enjoy it. It can be small things like stretching properly, feeling the sun on your skin, or eating something you’re really craving. Set aside time dedicated solely to pleasure, in whatever form.”
5. MASTURBATE – WITH YOUR WHOLE BODY
“Masturbation is so much more than just touching your genitals to reach orgasm. Any touch that feels nice is masturbation. Slowly applying a luxurious cream, running your fingers through your hair, or gently stroking your arm – all of it is masturbation. It’s about giving yourself a dose of oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, and the lovely endorphins that make us feel good. You don’t need to have a goal or orgasm in sight; it’s about getting your body used to feeling pleasure. It’s a powerful way to open up to feelings of desire of all kinds.”
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WANT TO GET IN TOUCH WITH MARIKA?
🍑 Visit sexinspiration.se to learn more about courses and personal coaching.
🍑 Follow the account Sexinspiration on Instagram.
20% OFF MARIKA’S ONLINE COURSES
Until June 1st, you’ll automatically get 20% off all of Marika’s inspiring online courses.
No limit on the number of courses! Click here to take advantage of the offer. No codes needed – the discount is applied directly at checkout 🙌
Take care & Stay Pussytive ❤️
/Fanny Falkman Grinndal
Business Manager Nordics
Peptonic Medical AB
fanny.falkman-grinndal@peptonicmedical.se